Monday, April 30, 2007

Oh what a night

I had a dream last night that I was dating Rodrigo Santoro:

Oh how I hated to wake up.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

A Denny Duquette kind of problem.

My Grey’s Anatomy predictions:

Please know that I am the QUEEN of Grey’s Anatomy predictions, but I must first concede that I did not see George leaving for another hospital. My question is REALLY? George leaving? Addison leaving? Rumors of Burke leaving—perhaps a tragic death, an event that involves Denny leading Burke to the other side? Who will the show be about? No one. It will be dull. We are all tired of Meredith and Derek anyway.

With that said, here are my end of the season predictions:
• Both Izzy and Cali are prego with George’s baby.
• The Chief isn’t stepping down. He will be unable to see anyone able to handle the stress of it—he doesn’t want the job to ruin anymore FAMILES! DAMMIT!
• Alex is totally going to make some sort of commitment to Eva, pregnant ferry victim, and she is going to leave in some way. It will be as Addison put it tonight, “Some sort of Denny Duquette kind of problem.”
• The cheating of either Meredith on Derek or Derek on Meredith. Come on these two people are the kind of people who cannot stand happiness. It makes them feel all weird inside—like nausea or something.

That is pretty much all I know at this time. Perhaps George isn’t leaving the show and will only be going to a new hospital for a while. Kind of like when Jim left to go the other Dunder-Mifflin paper company. Fingers crossed.

Just think though—with the mass exciting of actors from the show makes our beloved Grey’s Anatomy even more like ER. Oh the joy of it.

The question really is WHY DOESN’T IZZY LEAVE? I hate her. I hate her. I hate her. I hate her. She is teh suck. Grr…

The only thing that will cure my hate for Izzy is if she is prego with George’s baby, and then during labor she dies. Therefore forcing Burke (if he is still on the show) and Christiana to raise the child as their own. Damn. That would be awesome.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Meet my roommates

I am pleased to introduce you to the ladies that I live with.

This is Hermione:

This is Anne:

Tonight Hermione tried to kill herself.

What lies beneath my apartment. Nothing at all soft to land on.

She wishes to be free. Free of this tiny apartment, and of that rascal Anne. Anne is such a baby, and cries all the time. Hermione longs for the days that she never knew. Days of tormenting people who are allergic to cats. Chasing rats down alley ways. She hates her pampered life.

Like always I was able to lure her back into the apartment with the hope of catching some string.

She immediately regrets her mistake of trusting me.

Sarah: 1
Hermione: 0

The Shaving

This movie sucked. I do not recommend.

What I do recommend is Hillary Swank's awesome hair in the movie.

Her hair was long and flowing. She would wear it up in a brown clippie. Her hair is the ONLY reason to see this movie.

Unless you interested in seeing a pubescent girl run around with "menstrual" blood dried and crusted on her leg. Neat.

Also the The Reaping's title reminded Spring of "The Shaving," from ATHF.
"Nice head. I think I'll take it."

Friday, April 20, 2007

I'm bringing sexy back.

Lee Ella and I have often discussed what kind of strippers we would be if in fact the need should ever arise. Lee Ella has explained that she would be a Sunday afternoon stripper. I on the other hand know that I would be a 7:00 a.m. on a Monday morning kind of stripper.

I shared this with my co-workers the other night, and my good friend said, “You would be called Rock Bottom.” Of course. This is the best 7:00 a.m. stripper name EVER.

I explained that being a 7:00 a.m. stripper means a free breakfast buffet to help draw in the crowd. Mostly though you want to get the homeless in—basically it is the only time they can afford to see strippers. My tips would not be money, but instead strips of bacon from the breakfast buffet.

Rock Bottom would dance to such songs as “Today” by the Smashing Pumpkins, “Cats in the Cradle,” by Harry Chapin, and "Total Eclipse of the Heart," by Bonnie Tyler. Songs that are appropriate for a Monday morning stripper to dance to for the homeless men enjoying their free powdered eggs and stale bagels. Songs that will continue to remind people, “I hate living, and I hate Mondays. Also I hate that I cannot afford to see evening strippers.”

Of course, the name, “Rock Bottom,” would be appropriate for a woman wrestler also. Nevertheless, I guess that is just for another lifetime.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Victory is mine!


Sanjaya was thankfully, FINALLY, voted off of American Idol last night.

Now we can begin to take the show very seriously.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Just keeping it real.

Typically, I think that the theory for women is as they get older their standards for men get smaller and smaller.

After I read the book He’s Just Not that into You, I had a revelation about men. I no longer equate my female emotions to their lame male ones. Don’t get me wrong, men have emotions of course. I just have a hard time knowing what they look like since they tend to look nothing like my own.

Something that I am learning as I grow up is about what things you should skimp on, and what things not to skimp on. Such as it is okay to buy off-brand sugar—it is not okay to buy off-brand oil. It is okay to have male friends who are inconsiderate—it is not okay to have a boyfriend who is having sex with someone else. (Not that this has happened to me, but you get the gist.)

So as I get older my list of qualifications for being my “Mr. Perfect,” gets longer and longer.

Let me know what you think. I have narrowed it down to the Top 10 things I want in my “Mr. Perfect.”

10. He must have nice teeth.
9. He always smells good.
8. He enjoys karaoke bars and other random silly activities.
7. He must be better with money than I am and still be generous. I suck at money management. He cannot be a scrooge. That isn’t cool either.
6. He must want to travel all over the world, and take me with him of course.
5. When he talks about the future he always talks about me being in it.
4. He must be kind to strangers, waitresses, and the homeless.
3. He is funny as hell.
2. He loves all my friends and family as much as I do, and I feel the same way about his friends and family.
1. He is considerate always of others, including me.

That pretty much sums it up. My “Mr. Perfect” is pretty much Jim from The Office.

If he looked like a famous movie star, (*cough* Shia Labeouf, John Krasinski, or James Franco) that would not hurt either.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

What a thing to forget.

Thanks Holly for pointing this out for me!

I don't know how I forgot about the real reason I live:

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix-- July 13

Because I know you care.

Look what is going to be happening to me this summer.

Spiderman 3—May 3

Shrek the Third—May 18

Pirates of the Caribbean at World’s End—May 25

Ocean’s Thirteen—June 8

The Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer—June 15

Transformers—July 4

The Bourne Ultimatum—August 3

At some point in there I am going to Puerto Rico too.

This summer is going to be awesome!

Monday, April 16, 2007

My feet feel exposed.

At the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie Spring and I were sitting with our feet on the railing in the theater, and this elderly gentleman came up to us. He handed me a sheet of paper, and said, “I liked your feet, and so I drew them. I want you to have it. There is no charge or anything.”

Spring and I accepted the piece of paper graciously and found that what the man said was true. He had drawn our feet. We were slouched down in the chairs with our feet up on the railing, and so he had drawn the back of our heads as well.

I called “dibs” on the drawing. Spring told me that if I was not going to treat it well then she was going to take it away from me. I told her that I would put the picture up on my refrigerator until I could get it framed. She then told me that was a horrible place to put the picture because food would be splattered all over it.

I think that the real question that you should be asking right now is not “Why would this man draw Spring and Sarah’s feet at a movie theater?” but, “What do Spring and Chad do when they get food out of the refrigerator? Sloush it around? Throw food at each other in sheer enjoyment of life and marriage?” I do not know, nor have I been invited to join in on such activities.

I put the picture up on my refrigerator anyway. Spring does not come to my apartment because she is allergic to cats. Therefore, I am not worried about her coming to take it from me.