Lee Ella and I have often discussed what kind of strippers we would be if in fact the need should ever arise. Lee Ella has explained that she would be a Sunday afternoon stripper. I on the other hand know that I would be a 7:00 a.m. on a Monday morning kind of stripper.
I shared this with my co-workers the other night, and my good friend said, “You would be called Rock Bottom.” Of course. This is the best 7:00 a.m. stripper name EVER.
I explained that being a 7:00 a.m. stripper means a free breakfast buffet to help draw in the crowd. Mostly though you want to get the homeless in—basically it is the only time they can afford to see strippers. My tips would not be money, but instead strips of bacon from the breakfast buffet.
Rock Bottom would dance to such songs as “Today” by the Smashing Pumpkins, “Cats in the Cradle,” by Harry Chapin, and "Total Eclipse of the Heart," by Bonnie Tyler. Songs that are appropriate for a Monday morning stripper to dance to for the homeless men enjoying their free powdered eggs and stale bagels. Songs that will continue to remind people, “I hate living, and I hate Mondays. Also I hate that I cannot afford to see evening strippers.”
Of course, the name, “Rock Bottom,” would be appropriate for a woman wrestler also. Nevertheless, I guess that is just for another lifetime.