Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Just keeping it real.

Typically, I think that the theory for women is as they get older their standards for men get smaller and smaller.

After I read the book He’s Just Not that into You, I had a revelation about men. I no longer equate my female emotions to their lame male ones. Don’t get me wrong, men have emotions of course. I just have a hard time knowing what they look like since they tend to look nothing like my own.

Something that I am learning as I grow up is about what things you should skimp on, and what things not to skimp on. Such as it is okay to buy off-brand sugar—it is not okay to buy off-brand oil. It is okay to have male friends who are inconsiderate—it is not okay to have a boyfriend who is having sex with someone else. (Not that this has happened to me, but you get the gist.)

So as I get older my list of qualifications for being my “Mr. Perfect,” gets longer and longer.

Let me know what you think. I have narrowed it down to the Top 10 things I want in my “Mr. Perfect.”

10. He must have nice teeth.
9. He always smells good.
8. He enjoys karaoke bars and other random silly activities.
7. He must be better with money than I am and still be generous. I suck at money management. He cannot be a scrooge. That isn’t cool either.
6. He must want to travel all over the world, and take me with him of course.
5. When he talks about the future he always talks about me being in it.
4. He must be kind to strangers, waitresses, and the homeless.
3. He is funny as hell.
2. He loves all my friends and family as much as I do, and I feel the same way about his friends and family.
1. He is considerate always of others, including me.

That pretty much sums it up. My “Mr. Perfect” is pretty much Jim from The Office.

If he looked like a famous movie star, (*cough* Shia Labeouf, John Krasinski, or James Franco) that would not hurt either.


Spring said...

Lol. Now how is it possible to know that Jim always smells good? Do you have some newfangled TV that I don't know about?

I think your list of qualifications is good, and I think that there is definitely a guy out there (or three or four or seventy) who fits the bill.

I keep thinking of that last scene from an Ed episode. I think the episode was "Ends and Means." And Ed tells Carol, "There are some things you can compromise on: new suit, yes. Dream house? Maybe. But the girl? You can't compromise on the girl." One of my favorite quotes ever.

Of course, in your case, it'd be a boy.

Katy said...

Good post. I also assume Jim always smells good. And funny as hell would be on my list, too. Along with enjoys-really-really-bad-TV-just-as-I-do. heheh.

Last night I had two dreams. In the first, I was in a terrible car accident in which the car fell like 30 stories and I walked away without a scratch. In the second dream, Jim and Pam got together at the end of this season of "The Office," and life was good and I got to go to their wedding.

molly said...

all of them sounds reasonable...except for numbers 10 and 9. you can't expect him to have PERFECT teeth...clean, straight, good looking teeth, but perfect...that's a little much.
and if you want a boy who doesn't stink...don't marry a boy. boys stink.