Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Christmas Tree and Hermione

Hermione loves the Christmas tree.

She is so cute.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Joy. Enough to go round?

I often times have mentioned my love/hate relationship with advertising.  Yet, again I have found another commercial that makes me look at my life, and go, "Um, excuse me, why isn't that my life?"

This is that commercial:

1.  Where is this party?
2.  Why wasn't I invited?
3.  Why is he making his step-siblings share one soda?
4.  Can I buy joy at Wal-Mart?  Or perhaps it is only in a glass Coke bottle?
5.  Is it bad that I have a slight crush on this guy?

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Twenty-Six and San Antonio

Last Sunday I turned twenty-six years old. I am glad that it was on the Sunday after Thanksgiving and so it rolled over me like fog. It was quiet and gloomy, and I felt lost in it. It could have been worse though.

I am spending this week in San Antonio for training for my new job. San Antonio is a really neat city, and tonight I was able to take a “taxi” on the river. I am staying in my very own grown up hotel room on the 9th floor. This room overlooks the city. I feel very adult and lonely too. But these are two feelings that I believe go together often.

Anyway, San Antonio is very pretty, and while riding the taxiboat I took a picture. I took it with my cell phone so the quality is not that great.

Christmas is my favorite time of year. Riding on a taxiboat in San Antonio is a new favorite memory and perhaps a good sign for year twenty-six.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

On my new job and my feelings about Barack Obama

Should I just plunge right in as if I have not been gone? Or make awkward apologies for what a bad blog upkeeper I am? No one reads anyway. Therefore, I guess it doesn’t matter!

So, I like my new job. I am still working for the state. Which as far as I can tell is a wise move considering the economy. Luckily, for me, child abuse goes on a rise when the economy suffers. Yay! for job security. Or. Wait. Don’t worry that was meant to be sarcastic.

My new job is working with families who need continued help with CPS. That is all I am going to say about it. Working in child abuse puts me in an awkward spot. So, I don’t like to talk about it much in a public arena like my blog. However, what I do love is when I get myspace requests from people that say, “Down with CPS,” or something like that. Why do those people think I would want to be their myspace friend?

The good news is that Obama is going to be president in January. The bad new is that eventually he will do something that will make me go, “Dude why is he president?” Sometimes, while listening to NPR I will hear stories about Obama or this struggling economy and I will get misty eyed because Obama brings hope. I do not expect Obama to fix all the problems in the world, but I do think that he gives people motivation to want to fix things. He is very JFK like that. He is a symbol for change. That is all any of us need is just the idea that change can happen. He isn’t the end, Barack Obama is the means.

Now then, enough of this political brouhaha. Don't worry. I continue to be single, and I continue to live in Austin. So, you haven't missed out on much about me.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Tiny Update

To all five of my readers:

I got a new job. I start on October 13, 2008. I am very ready.

I will write more soon.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

On how American Express is screwing with me.

While watching Project Runway a few weeks ago, the Diane von Furstenberg episode actually, her commercial for American Express played.  Now I am completely against credit cards since I have become a Dave Ramsey girl, however after seeing this commercial I seriously thought I might need one.  Perhaps I am meant to be a designer, and design like there is no tomorrow.  Diane von F said she found it all on accident.  I can only do it with the help of American Express. 

I keep waiting for my accident.  But then again aren’t you supposed to happen to your life or things will happen to you? 

I just don’t know. 

When I watched this commercial and heard Diane von Furstenberg say, “I didn’t really know what I wanted to do, but I knew the woman I wanted to become,” luckily I was home alone because I started crying.  It wasn’t a sobbing or anything, but basically it was a like staring into my future and not seeing what Diane von Furstenberg has.  Or seeing anything at all.  I sometimes wonder if I even have a future. 

Obviously, I have a future, right?

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

VW Amazing Camper Van

Does anyone want to travel America with me in this amazing VW Van?

It is called the Verdier, and if you check out the website you will see all the amazing features that this thing has. I have always wanted to take a road trip across America, and now I can do it in a VW Van that is awesome. Although, chances are that it will take about 20 years before this awesome product will be on the market.

Too bad though. I love this thing. I might even leave my city life, and live a truly green life if I had this van.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

On a good weekend in Dallas.

While at work looking at pictures via Spring’s flickr, I realized how truly blessed that I am to have friends who will gather around a table and share food with me. My favorite part of the collection of pictures is how we most of us are always laughing. Usually, about something probably Sam said in regards to his views regarding life in general.

My weekend in Dallas was a constant reminder of what I have left. Spring kept assuring me that I can come back if I want to. Dimple would mention it a few times as well, but I don’t know if you can “go back.”

What is wonderful about Dallas now is that when I go visit I get to stay at Spring and Chad’s house, I get to see old co-workers at happy hours, and I get to feel like I belong again. I don't have to preface every story I tell with an explanation of who all the people in the story are. The stories are usually about the people I am with. I get to drink random Colombian liquorish tasting liquor at Puerto Rican parties with my Puerto Rican friends. I get to spend all afternoons reading a book in a guest bed with Rufus, my goddog. What could be better? It is not about going back, but it is knowing where I am loved.

This is the "gang" minus Ellie who was coming back from a caving trip, and Spring who is behind the camera.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

This post is about what I have been doing lately.

Sorry, I have been away. When my life is disappointing, I feel no ability to communicate anything positive, funny, or to be creative in any capacity.

However, perhaps you would like to know the recent news in my life. I will give it to you in bullet points.

  • I got a 2nd job at JcPenny’s. I like it for the most part. I don’t like that I have to push credit card applications. Although, you do win nice little awards in recognition of your work. I like that. I like concrete answers to things.
  • I am coming to Dallas for the weekend.
  • I hate the job that I got when I moved to Austin. Turns out that I am people person, and not a pushing paper, copy and pasting for another document, and absolutely no creative freedom person.
  • I got a really cool deal on 54 Rubbermaid plastic containers at Sam’s Club. ($19.87)
  • I have lost ten pounds.
  • I am very excited about Fall television.
  • I want Leanne to win on Project Runway.
  • Having a job I hate has made me realize that I want to be a counselor. I am going to go back to school, get my MSW, and be counselor. Then I can set my own hours.
  • My programmable coffee maker is broken. This sucks.

What has been up in your life?

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

An Important Email I Wrote at Work Today

In case you were wondering what I do all day here is an email that I wrote in my frustrated attempts to make being a state employee be a little more glamorous.

To Whom It May Concern,

As you know recently all computers were upgraded to Windows Media Player 11. When my download was complete, I contacted the help desk because I could not see the “now playing” option or the other menu options. The help desk informed me that they would open a ticket, however I did not hear anything. Today I called the help desk and was told that the “now playing” option on Windows Media Player had been removed.

Within the previous version of Windows Media Player, I was able to see my “now playing” list, and to create a playlist if needed. I realize that being this large of an operation that the State of Texas (or DFPS) has regulations regarding what employees can and cannot use on their computer. However, I spend 8 hours a day at this desk and in a cubicle, therefore making this tiny part of what is just a cubicle to many people—practically my second home. I am still able to listen to music and to CD’s that I bring, but I find it frustrating that I cannot create a playlist of the music that I bring on my jump drive.

I find it slightly insulting that DFPS believes that it cannot trust state employees with this basic computer program. I even understand restricting internet access from this program so that music and other types of media cannot be downloaded on to the computer. I previously worked for Child Protective Services, The State of Texas trusted me enough to interview parents and children, to go to court and testify on the State of Texas’s behalf, and yet I am not trusted with these menu options in Windows Media Player. Currently, The State of Texas entrusts me to ensure that millions of dollars of the State of Texas’s money is spent correctly. Perhaps you might be able to understand why I am so frustrated about DFPS continuing to restrict access to basic computer programs that I have been using for years.

I used to listen regularly to Yahoo Music—until this option was also blocked by DFPS. I realize that websites like Yahoo Music use a lot of bandwidth, and that is probably why DFPS does allow employees to view this site. However, to compensate for that lack of an option I bring music to work to listen to on my headphones.

I do not know why the menu options have been removed from Windows Media Player, however if there is a chance that I could have them returned to my desktop I would really appreciate that. I also appreciate you taking the time to read my email. If you cannot return the menus to my Windows Media Player—then can you please explain why DFPS has chosen to remove these menus and how it jeopardizes my job to have these options?

Again, I appreciate your time.

Thank you,
Sarah McCrary

Please note that even with this frustrated email that I have written that I will never be able to have playlists on my work computer again. It really is almost enough to make a person quit their job. However, I would miss being able to bank my vacation and sick leave. Also, perhaps one could argue it is an issue of priorities. But who doesn't put listening to music at the top of their list?

Isn't being a grown up about being able to do whatever the hell you want? I always thought it was.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Yay for the Olympics!

I love the Olympics, and the swimming competition is my favorite part. I also love the juicy backstory. Did anyone watch last night as Katie Hoff almost win the Gold last night, but instead she won the Silver losing to Australia.

However, I was cheering for Laure Manaudou because she was swimming against Federica Pellegrini, who is Manaudou's rival from Italy. Also Pellegrini is dating Manaudou's former Italian boyfriend. Pellegrini was the favorite to win. However, she didn't. Manaudou didn't either.

Does anyone else remember the Olympics being so gossipy?

Monday, August 4, 2008

Regarding my life and being in the moment

My biggest struggle in life has been finding God (love, peace, joy, wisdom, grief, etc…) while in the moment. I am constantly looking and thinking about the next moment, the next meal, the next vacation, the next paycheck. I am never, really focusing on the here and now.

At John Brown University, someone used to hang quotes in the bathroom stalls. I remember reading a quote that was so brilliant, and I wish I had written it down because I cannot find it now. However, it was from a preacher or theologian and the quote in a paraphrase said that churches are always bringing in people to lead revivals in their churches, however the important moment is now—and that we need to be asking God to bless us in the moment. I used to pray this all during the day, “Lord help me to be in the moment,” and for a while I think that it helped. I think that I did enjoy where I was, and started to see a plan for my life.

Somewhere in the last 2 to 3 years, I have lost this ability. I find myself unable to get work down, unable to enjoy spending time with people, and constantly reflecting on who or what I should be. When my prayer should be, “Lord help me to be in this moment.”

Perhaps that is what a quarter-life crisis is—the inability to see and be in the moment. When in fact that is all we can even see. I can only see now. I have no idea where I will be tomorrow really—much less five years from now.

Perhaps I can begin to give up this addiction to the unknown, and for today, like a recovering addict, I can take it all one minute, one moment at a time.

Last week Spring assured me that I would not be this discontent forever, and because she is my best friend and because she sings to me of hope—I am going to believe her.

P.S. If someone knows who, what are where the about quote is, I would be forever grateful if you would provide it for me.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

On my newest obession

I have a new obsession. Broth.

Weird huh? When I lived Lee Ella she made vegetable broth—since she is a veggie (who recently ate fish, shame, shame Lee Ella). I thought she was the world’s weirdest person alive. I thought to myself, “Who makes broth anyway? What is this 1912?”

What did I know anyway?

Flash forward to about a month ago, and I was perusing the internet and found a recipe for a yummy sweet potato chili, and it called for vegetable broth. I was like, “Oh, that is what you use broth for.”

Therefore, I immediately copied my dear old friend Lee Ella and started reading all of the internet(s) about broth.

Broth can be made from scrapes! Scrapes of veggies, meat, bones, shells—anything that is left over you can make it into a broth. I love that about broth. I love the idea of not wasting anything for the sake of making something even more AWESOME. I take my scraps, I put them in a big freezer baggie, and I leave it in the freezer. Then when my bag is full—I put the veggies in the Crockpot and it cooks all day. When I get home, I have yummy delicious broth.

I also like to talk about making broth. I am sure my sister gets so sick of me just going on about how I am going to use these vegetable scraps to make more broth. Of course, Sheena might not care if we have broth—but now that I have had it, I can never go back to a non-broth world. Once I made some vegetable broth, and Sheena was like, “What do you do with it now,” and I was like, “WHAT! You can do anything with it!” Silly Sheena.

Friend E was over the other day, and I was making rice—and I was like “Oh, I am going to cook the rice in this vegetable broth I just made,” and although she acted like she was interested—I wonder if she was actually thinking, “WEIRDO.”

What do you think about broth?

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

My dad's better than your dad

My dad is in the news. It is the local news, but nonetheless he is there, and you can read this artical about him.

Read the article here at the KBMT12 news website. This is the local news in Beaumont, Texas.

On Going to Church and Being New

On Sunday, I went to an Episcopal church near the University of Texas called St. David’s Episcopal Church. This was the second Sunday in a row that I attended this church. The first service I went to was at 11:15 a.m., and then on Sunday I went to a 5:00 p.m. Celtic Communion Service.

Even though I am the one who has picked myself up and settled back down in Austin, Texas—I have realized something recently about myself and that is that I don’t like to be new. I like meeting people, I do not mind striking up conversations, but if I am the only new person in a room well then I become very shy. I also do this around older, attractive men, but that does not happen as often.

I was thinking about this in church on Sunday, and I came to the conclusion that this is the reason I hate to go to airports when I am traveling alone. I hate feeling like no one there knows me. Not that I believe that I am some great pleasure to know or anything. I just like to feel like I belong somewhere.

Of course, being new is only a small part of getting a new job or going to a new church, but it is the part that keeps me away.

However, after the service, the priest spoke to me, and then a nice woman asked me for coffee in the church bookshop/coffee shop. At one point, she was introducing me to another member of the church, and said, “I am trying to get St. David’s hooks in you,” and I said, “Oh, well you are doing a great job.”

Which she did, and next Sunday you will probably see me at the 5:00 p.m. Celtic Communion Service—trying to pretend like I belong.

Monday, July 14, 2008

No Country for Old Men

I watched No Country for Old Men this weekend, and was left feeling very dumb when it was all over. I turned to Friend R, and asked him what he liked about the movie and he said, "I liked the accents."

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

On Safety and Voldemort

Today at work I had to complete at “Security Awareness Training” regarding staying safe at my office. Mostly it was about making sure that no one comes into the office to shoot everyone. That is includes previous co-workers, bucko.

My favorite part was a “case study” that was written in the online training module:

April 2007, Houston Texas: The building was multi-storied. Employees from several different organizations occupied the building. It was after work hours.


He was a stranger, unknown to any employee in the building. He had a purpose and was determined to complete it. Only people stood in his way. Would they prevent his sinister plan? Or would he achieve what he had set out to do?

At this point, I was like “Oh yes! very Unsolved Mysteries. I love Unsolved Mysteries, please give me more.”

He watched from afar as the security guard left the desk to escort a young woman to her car. As the sliding doors opened to let others out, he quickly entered the building.

He was in luck no one was around. He quickly sized up the situation and headed toward the elevator. As he got in, he asked himself. “Which floor should I try?” He pushed the number 7.

It would have been more fitting if he had chosen floor 6 or 13, I think.

As he stepped off the elevator he entered the lobby of a company the occupied the entire floor. He continued down the hall and was met by an employee.

He was confronted with a decision. She knew he was out of place and quickly identified him as a stranger. She asked if she could help him find someone and tried to determine the reason for his visit.

The man decided this was not the right time and place. He turned around and entered the open elevator. He pushed the number 5.

Oh, no apparently, his sinister plan cannot happen on floor 7, and it must happen on floor 5. Don’t you really feel connected to this character. While I was reading the story I was like, “Oh he is Voldemort! Ahhhh my work is having me read an awesome safety story about Voldemort who is going to kill someone in Ministry of Magic.”

When doors opened the man stepped out of the elevator. It was quiet. No person was in sight. He wandered around the corridors but many of the doors to various businesses were already locked.

Nothing on the 5th floor interested him so he once again returned to the elevator and pushed the number 1.

As the man rode the elevator down, he began to question whether or not he would be successful. Wait! The elevator slowed to a stop. The doors were opening. What would he find on the other side? Maybe he could accomplish his task.

Terry was tired from a long day’s work. She gathered her belongings and headed towards the elevator. As she punched the down button, she was mentally checking the list of things she needed to do when she got home. The doors opened. She entered the elevator. It was just the two of them.

At this point in the story, it is so nice to have a new character introduced. Terry is such a complex character. I know so much about her from this paragraph. She works hard, she cleans up after herself, she has a brain, and she rides the elevator.

The man thought about what to do. Was it worth it? Would she have enough to risk it? He needed the money. The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened slowly. He quickly glanced around and the lobby was very empty.

Oh no, Terry! I am worried that you are in great danger. Don't you know who that is? It is He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!

He came up behind her to grab her purse. He pushed and pulled, struggled and fought. He gained about $50.00. She lost her life. The end.

WTF? That is the end of the story? How did Terry even die? The shock of being mugged perhaps? Did “The Man” pull out a knife and stab her? Did he pull out his wand and yell, "Avada Kedavra"? There was so much to know about Terry. Where did she grow up? Is she married? Does she have children? Is she magical?

When I got to the end of the story, I laughed and laughed because it was so lame. Is this supposed to shock me into calling the cops every time there is someone I do not know riding an elevator in my office? Unless it is a man who has a snake face, and seems like he has no soul-- then I do not know how I am suppossed to know that it is a man with a sinister plan.

I wish the story had been about Voldermort. I would have liked it better.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

So go ahead, push your luck

My parents got married 27 years ago today. There is something so wonderful about being able to celebrate my best friends’ wedding anniversary and my parents’ wedding anniversary all in the same week.

I think that my parents are like a great vintage wine that just gets better with age. They are wonderful people, who have taught my siblings and me how to love each other. I remember when Sheena and I would fight when we were children, my mother would make us hug, kiss and say we were sorry. Sheena and I still fight of course, but we never stay mad at each other for long. I have also heard people comment on how close the three of us are, and even when Sean was just a small person (he is a very LARGE person now) Sheena and I always took him everywhere with us. I would almost rather hang out with Sean then any other person out there.

Growing up, my parents’ home was always the safest place in the world. There will never be another place that could represent as much rest as I can find in their house. Except of course Hawaii, but I have not been to Hawaii, so I do not know.

Dar Williams writes in her song After All, “I am the daughter of a great romance, and they are the children of the war.” I am the daughter of a great romance. Although my parents have had their up and downs—I know that they still love each other, and that they want to stay loving each other even when that gets hard. As I get older, I learn that most of life is a battle, and that those battles make-up your life’s war. Like war in the physical sense—metaphorical “life war” destroys, and all that you can do is keep rebuilding.

So, for the second time this week please lift your Champaign glasses in the air (yes, even you Mom, but you have sparkling cider),so that I can toast my parents for 27 years of marriage, for raising three well adjusted children, and for helping me to recognize that love comes in many different forms. May you have another 27 and more years together.

Thank you, Mom and Dad.


Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Love is more than just a game for two.

Today is Canada Day, but it is also Spring and Chad’s two year wedding anniversary.

Of all the brides I have known, Spring has been the most relaxed and chilled. I do not think that she and Chad had one disagreement about how, where, or when the wedding would be.

The only time I remember her being stressed regarding the wedding was the day before. We were driving in the car in Tulsa, Oklahoma, I do not remember where we were going, but Spring was expressing that she was stressed out. Mr. Chad (as I call him) started singing “L-O-V-E” by Frank Sinatra. I don’t know if it was the randomness of the song, or if it was that Mr. Chad was singing, but immediately we all started having a good time.

We sang, “L is for the way you look at me, O is for the only one I see, V is very, very extraordinary, E.” Then we stopped at “E,” and someone was like what is “E” for. And I said, “Extraordinary?” Spring began to loosen up, and she even laughed a little. I sat there in the car, I was in the back seat, and I felt blessed to be apart of two people’s love for each other.

I don’t think we figured it out until later that “E is even more than anyone that you adore.”

The next day I was apart of a beautiful wedding, and what is even more important to me is that I have been able to be apart of their relationship. They are my family.

So, lift your imaginary Champaign glass in the air and lets toast Spring and Chad, and my wish is that you will have many, many more years of learning to laugh with each other.

Happy Canada Day!

Today is Canada Day!

Be sure to hug a Canadian!

Monday, June 30, 2008

On Seeing Famous People in Austin

So, this weekend, I went to a bar called the Mean Eyed Cat in Austin, Texas. As I walked around the corner to see if there was any seating on the patio, I saw a man that looked familiar. My mind quickly stated, “Oh that man looks like Justin Long.” Then as I looked at the woman seating next to him, I thought, “Oh, and of course that is his girlfriend Drew Barrymore.” Then I realized that I was not in the movie theater, and that I was in my real life and that right before my eyes was two famous people.

I slowly turned to my friend E, who is a long-time college friend who lives in Austin, and said, “E that is Justin Long and Drew Barrymore seating in the corner.” She looked over my shoulder, and said, “Are you sure?” I looked back to make sure, and looked at her and said, “Yes that is them. We have to go inside or I am going to freak out.”

We went inside, and I proceeded to tell E’s boyfriend, M and friend R what we had seen. They also went outside to confirm. About an hour later as we were all seating outside drinking, and attempting to forget that we were in the same bar as two famous people my sister Sheena went around the corner to check it out and stated, “Oh my gosh they are making out!”

Drew Barrymore is a tiny person, but she is so pretty. I could not believe that she was as pretty in real life as she was on television. Seeing her in the bar for me was like seeing someone that I knew in high school, but that I was not very good friends with. She was so familiar to me, and yet not at all. I had so many questions for her, but at the same time, I knew better than to ask her any of them. I knew how inappropriate it would have been to say, “I’m not Josie-Grosie anymore.”

They left the bar about 2 hours after we had been there, and I sighed with relief because I had been concentrating on making sure that I was keeping my cool and being as cool as I could in the situation. Although, I imagined myself being like the sister in the movie Knotting Hill and when meeting Anna Scott (Julia Roberts) she decides instead of playing it cool to make a complete ass out of herself. However, I decided that playing it cool was better for my own self image.

I do really think Drew Barrymore and I could be best friends.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

What Sarah Says

I launched my advice giving blog today. It could fail big time, or it could take off like a huge fun thing to do. I can just see myself writing books, and having my own syndicated advice giving radio show on XM or Sirrus Radio. Then I will be a huge celebrity, and I will finally have an entourage.

A girl can dream.

Check out the blog, and be sure to send any questions to me!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Do you listen to me?

Would you read a blog in which I had people write to me via email, and then I answered their questions?

I was thinking yesterday after giving advice to someone, and that person telling me that they appreciate my advice. I started to think that it would be so fun to give people advice all the time. I really do love to tell people what to do, and I mostly use common sense in doing so. I would keep everyone’s identity a secret of course.

If you have a question that you would like me to answer for you email me at whatsarahsays@gmail.com

Maybe, I can help you?

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

My new boyfriend

I have a new boyfriend. His name is Dave Ramsey. As most of my close friends know, I have many, many boyfriends. My number one boyfriend is Jim Halpert, my number two is probably James McAvoy or Edward Norton. I also have Ben Linus who is my “bad-guy” boyfriend. Now I have Dave Ramsey who is my “financial guy” boyfriend.

I hope that if you don’t know who Dave Ramsey is that you will immediately Wikipedia him, and then start listening to his show every single day.

Dave is my new boyfriend because of his great advice about money, but mostly because I love how he talks about wives. Dave loves his wife, and he is always saying wonderful things about how he listens to her. He makes me want to get married, but in a way that is healthy. A way that invovles budgets and communication. A sexy budget way.

In addition, Dave’s advice has turned my life around. I am on my way to being debt free. It is not easy. I finally understand a budget. My poor father tried to teach me to budget years ago, and I was too dense to get it. I am in the process of taking Financial Peace University, which is Dave’s 13-week class. My father tried to teach me to budget with Excel, and lets be honest—I am never going to be smart enough to really understand Excel. I have budget forms now that I really understand. They are easy enough for even me.

I hope that with Dave’s advice I will work off paying my debts, but also saving for my future. And other lame ass sayings.

Also, please keep your fingers crossed that I will get a part-time job at Borders Bookstore.

Monday, June 23, 2008

I have a pool.

Have you been to Someecards.com? You need to spend some time there immediately.

I do share a pool at my apartment. I love, love, love, love IT! I hope you are jealous. I spend time there during my week, and I think of all my hot friends and family who do not have a pool. Then I laugh.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

On Tall People and Girls with Douche Boyfriends at the Death Cab for Cutie Concert

There is a song by Randy Newman and the lyrics state, “Short People got no reason to live,” but after attending the Death Cab for Cutie concert at the Nokia Theater in Grand Prairie, Texas—I whole-heartedly disagree. Tall people have no right to live.

Spring and I bought “pit tickets” to this concert because truly the only way to really experience a great show is to be as close to the stage as can be. However, in this circumstance, the fans of Death Cab for Cutie are unusually tall high school boys. I wish I had yelled at these children, “HEY, don’t you have a basketball game that you should be at?” Maybe, these poor boys, even though unusually tall and lanky, have been unable to find the place where tall people belong which is basketball and modeling. Being so tired of the question, “Do you play basketball?,” these questions drove them into the arms of the melancholy lyrics of Death Cab for Cutie. Perhaps their only real niche in life is Death Cab. I do not know.

However, typical of high school boys, they have no thought for anyone other than themselves. So, as regular height people are standing there, these tall freaking freaks of natures are blocking my view of the stage. The tallest three high school boys in perhaps all of Texas find each other, and stand in the middle of the crowd. The concert was like a very large mattress and they kept rolling into the middle.

Therefore, Spring and I had to move to very outskirts of the crowd on the side. But, this turned out to be the best view of all. I could fully see the stage, and there was actually a pleasant breeze blowing.

I also want to talk about lame girls with douche bag boyfriends. Have you ever noticed that boyfriend that comes with his girlfriend to show even though he is obviously not a fan of the band? He insists on standing right behind the girl with his arms around her waist, like she is leaning against some fleshly wall with arms. To all girls out there who like the same kind of music as me, but have these muscle headed, dumb witted, lame ass boyfriends—do not bring them to shows anymore. Also, break up with them. Please. If your boyfriend does not like a band, but he insists on going to a concert with you so that he can act like your own personal inner-tube he is a douche bag.

To answer your question, “For the most part I enjoyed the show, and yes I do find Benjamin Gibbard attractive.”

Thursday, June 12, 2008

A Personal Dilemma

My ex-boyfriend D is breaking up with his girlfriend. They have been together for about three years now, and they are breaking up because she is moving to Boston to attend Harvard. I have asked him why he does not follow her to Boston, and he has told me his reasons.
1. She doesn’t stay for him.
2. He didn’t feel invited.

Since D and I broke up, I have repeatedly had to set boundaries with him. D is a very complicated person, who believes that he feels the correct emotions for everyone. He continues to invalid any emotion that I may have explained that I have. D is always right about everything no matter what—even if I am saying that I do not like something he is telling me that I do.

See D believes that by saying vulgar things about my breasts that this is a compliment, and instead of being offended, I should be joyous. I should respond with a comment about the size of his package and so on and so forth. He also hides behind a text message.

I believe that some people would imagine D as an oversized, biker/construction worker, with no education, but no D is actually an averaged size, over sexed boy, and he even has a nice face, smile, and teeth. He looks more like the boy next door. In high school, they called him, “Baptist Boy,” and his parents were missionaries for the first part of D's life.

In high school, D taught me to think outside the box. He questioned why I believed what I believe, and he made me justify my thoughts and feelings. I believe that D made me an overall better person. He also taught me about sex. What I know (what little I know) is all from D. Everything from kissing to erections. I know it all from D. Truthfully, I am no more experience sexually than the average middle school student these days, and D and I did not have “sexual intercourse,” but for the first and only time in my life I felt sexy. I knew how to turn a man-boy on.

D has begun texting me his desires to sexually conquest me, and a part of me wonders if I should not just give in because D is the only guy who has every expressed an interest in sexually conquesting me. But, somewhere the smart part of me (the part that is made of my sister, mother and best girl friends) begs me to reconsider. These women in my mind and in my life constantly remind me that I am beautiful and that I will find someone who wants me because they love me, and not just because they have had me before.

One of my best girl friends has told me that she knows that if I have sex with someone I do not love then I will regret it. I believe it, and it sounds like advice I would give. I know that D does not love me because he is asking this from me. I know that I don’t love D like I used to, and I know that if I had sex with D then I would make myself believe I did love him. Then where would we be? Nowhere that I want to be. Nowhere that I deserve to be.

Yet here I am. Lonely and under sexed. Single and afraid. Perfectly aware that the pool has no water in it, and yet still considering diving head first from the diving board.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Top 10 Favorite Summer Songs

This morning I was driving to work and a local radio station was talking about favorite summer songs, and they listed some great ones like The Thong Song, Summer Girls, and Crazy. I wanted to share my own personal list.

So, here are my ten favorite summer songs. They are more or less in order, but not completely. I think most of them are equal.

1. Do You Realize—The Flaming Lips
I don’t think you could have summer without The Flaming Lips. The next three songs are from such great albums—that the albums themselves are almost the embodiment of summer for me. However, Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots is my favorite album for summer.

2. Float On—Modest Mouse
I bought this album the summer before my senior year of college. I lived in Siloam Springs that summer. I was very lonely. Spring was in Tulsa, and Holly was working all the time and spending time with her boyfriend. I remember thinking about how great the lyrics were, and my favorite line is:
“Well, a fake Jamaican took every last dime with a scam
It was worth it just to learn some sleight-of-hand
Bad news comes don't you worry even when it lands
Good news will work its way to all them plans”

3. Sail to the Moon—Radiohead
This album came out before or during the summer of my junior year of college, and I was in a horrible place. I had just been broken up with, and my clothing was permanently stained red because of my openly bleeding heart. My parents had planned a trip to Phoenix, AZ that summer because my father had a conference there, and we took a road trip. I remember laying out by the pool with my sister, and listening to this CD on loop. What I love about Sail to the Moon is the lullaby affect it had one me. The romantic melody but the lyrics do not match up.

4. No Surprises—Radiohead
My ex-boyfriend turned me onto Radiohead, and one summer I house sat for his family. I had just learned how to rip music from a CD and burn it onto another CD. I made my first mixed CD the summer of 2001, and I never looked back. This song and one other Ex-Factor by Lauryn Hill was on that first “Sweet Tunes.” I remember Sheena and I were listening to the song and she said, “You know he sings about how crappy everything is all the time, but he makes it seem okay.”

5. These Days—Nico
I have listened to this song every summer since I first discovered The Royal Tenenbaums (which is also a great summer movie). “Please don't confront me with my failures, I had not forgotten them.” Need I say more?

6. Big Girls Don’t Cry—Fergie
This song has to be mentioned because Mary-Beth and I spent all summer listening to it last year. We drove all around Dallas, and would sing it at the top of our lungs. I even sang it karaoke at a pool party once.

7. Rush of Blood to the Head—Coldplay
I have always argued that this song is about Forrest Gump (another great summer movie), but I have always been told that, “No, no it is about President George W. Bush.” I think that in summer time people usually do more impulsive things than usual, and I think that typically it gets blamed on a rush of blood to the head.

8. Ex-Factor—Lauryn Hill
I love this song. This is one of the best break-up songs every written. I discovered this song while purusing my then boyfriends cd collection, and even from the beginning of our relationship—I knew that this song was about this person and myself. I think of this song and I think my home town in Grove, Oklahoma. I would drive around in the summer, college looming ahead of me, and with new love found. Yet I could not shake the truth in Lauren’s words:
“See I know what we got to do
You let go and I'll let go too
'Cause no one's hurt me more than you
And no one ever will”

9. Somewhere Only We Know—Keane
I heard this song on a Victoria Secrets commercial, and I could not believe I had never heard the song before. I spent the rest of the week doing internet research until I found it on a forum. It was a song by a band called Keane. The song reminds of a short story I wrote once about a cliff that over looked a ravine with a bench, and it was summer time when I wrote the short story.

10. Jesus Freak—DC Talk
This song reminds me of the best parts of summer in middle and high school—church camp. I loved church camp, and I used to attend Falls Creek in the summer. It was this huge hilly camp ground near Turner Falls in Oklahoma that was hot as hell (or not), and we would spend all our free time in the cabin playing cards and listening to Christian pop music.

What do you think your favorite summer songs are?

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Meredith loves McDreamy

So, I started watching Grey’s Anatomy again. I could not help it. Friend, R (I am taking a cue from Ann here on shorting people’s names to one letter) in Austin watches and he got me watching it again.

I used to write regularly about Grey’s Anatomy, and how ridiculous it all was. I think it was something that most people enjoyed reading. Perhaps I will do it about Lost too, but the problem with most Lost fans is that they are always a few episodes or seasons behind for some reason. No one fan is on the same page with Lost.

So anyway, back to Grey’s. I think, actually I know in my gut that Rose is going to be pregnant. She is going to be pregnant with McDreamy’s baby, and even though we all were celebrating that finally, FINALLY, Meredith can love—McDreamy is going to have a baby with Rose, the nurse. I like Rose. She deserves better than McDreamy though. Maybe she can date Christina?

George and Lexie are obviously going to end up together. And by “end up together,” I mean have sex. I do not mean fall in love and have a meaningful relationship. People do not do that on Grey’s Anatomy. Since George could not have Meredith he will get his chance to have Lexie. She is, in my opinion, much more awesome than Meredith anyway.

Can I just say, “Called it” about Calli and Erica. Calli is a weirdo character with no direction. My prediction is that next season she is going to be dating the Chief or something like that. She is the character most likely to sleep with the most unlikely character on the show. She slept with George, McSteamy, and now she is going to sleep with Erica. Oh, Dr. Torres, you mislead and strangely written character.

Alex and Izzy should be together, I think. Alex is a crap head, and Izzy is too—so they belong together. Both of them are self-righteous, indigent, and use their “medical” training as a way to let people almost die or actually die. *Cough* Denny.

Anyway, what did you think of the season finale of Grey’s Anatomy?

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Just to make it worse

My friend Ellie took this video:

You can see Spring and Chris. You can hear me singing, and Mary-Beth and I yelling!

God does love his children. Yeah.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Please, feel free to be jealous

I think most people have a list of things that they want to do before the die. I know I do. Sunday night I got to cross one thing off.

See Radiohead live in concert.

Just so you know Thom Yorke dances like an amazing, white, British man with nothing to lose.

Plus they played Fake Plastic Trees, Paranoid Android, Pyramid Song, You and Whose Army, and The Bends. Radiohead played other songs of course, but I just wanted to rub these songs in your face.

What did you do on Sunday night?

Friday, May 16, 2008

These Might Not be My Favorites Next Year

Spring wrote about her ten favorite films, and so in best friend fashion I wanted to do the same thing—countdown and all.

10. Pirates of the Caribbean
9. Dumb and Dumber
8. Stardust
7. Hairspray
6. Little Miss Sunshine
5. Garden State
4. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
3. Moulin Rouge
2. Fight Club
1. The Royal Tenenbaums

Okay, well there it is. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

For Sean Because He Graduated High School.

My little brother Sean graduated from high school on Tuesday. Here is a list for him of 10 things that I wish someone had told me before going to college.

10. People from Texas love their state. You will always know that there is someone from the State of Texas by how they decorate their dorm room. They do make a wrapping paper with the state of Texas printed on it, and someone will figure out how to decorate their room/door with this. This is the only state with that problem.
9. There is no need to run down the hallway of your dorm— unless there is a fire. Which mostly likely there will not be, but you will experience three to four fire drills at 3:00 a.m. at least two to three times a semester. Please see number 8.
8. When you cook popcorn there is no need to cook it for very long. Most popcorn cooks at about 2 minutes. Understand that if you cook your popcorn longer than 2 minutes chances are that it will be burnt, and the fire alarms will go off causing everyone in your dormitory to have to go outside and stand around in the cold. Please—do not overcook your popcorn.
7. Don’t think that just because you put your name on an item in the shared dorm refrigerator that someone isn’t going to eat it. They are.
6. It is okay to question authority, and to make the authority answer for why they do something or why they are making you do something.
5. College is a balance between having fun and getting your work done for your classes. I have never heard anyone say that they wish they had not done more of one or the other.
4. Good music and good books are meant for sharing. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for sharing your music with another person. Also, if you don’t read—you should. Pick up a book. Your brain will thank you.
3. If you don’t doubt the existence of God, and then somehow find God again by the time college is over then you didn’t learn anything, and you should have to repeat college.
2. Don’t be afraid to try new things, but don’t be afraid to stand your ground. It is okay to test your beliefs but don’t lose your moral fiber.
1. Life is a lot like driving on the highway in a heavy rain. The important thing to remember is not to get lost in the lighting and the oncoming headlights, but to focus on the lines on the road. You can get through anything if you focus on what is in front of you. Just like rain is good for the world—it is good for your life.

Good luck Sean, and all those graduating out there. I am sure when Sheena graduates college I will write a nice like post about how life after college is lame, and how no one out there prepares anyone for being in their twenties.

Sunday, May 11, 2008


Do you know, I sometimes wish I was
a firecracker?
A quick spark of light
and pow— beauty
and before anything can ruin it
I’m gone
All that is left is ash and memory
The wind blows it all away

Wednesday, May 7, 2008


Just in case you didn't know.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Regarding the New Job and New Co-Workers

If there is something that The Office has taught us is that people can survive a boring job it they have clever and wonderful work friends. Thus far two days into my into my new job in Austin—I have not yet met a Jim to my Pam, Dwight, or even Michael. If I had to categorize very many of my new co-workers they would be more like Angelas. I think I have might have met a Phyllis and even a Meredith.

Don’t get me wrong, my co-workers all seem very nice. We even have a British administrative assistant. I have my own cubicle, and I do not have to deal with clients who would rather live their lives in denial then actually help their own children. So that is all a bonus. There is also a refrigerator thief around. My plan is catch this thief red-handed. I have yet to figure out the plan. However I think it will involve my urine and a bucket of sherbet.

The weird thing about co-workers is that you spend so much of your time with them. You spend more time with your co-workers than you do your own family or friends. That is when your co-workers actually become your friends. Then they become your work family. I had a work family in Dallas. I had a warm, comfortable work family. Work families though unlike real families quickly forget their lost member, and fill the spot with someone else.

Oh, well.

I could still meet my Jim. It is more likely though that I will meet a Dwight. This could make for good blog writing.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Sarah vs. the car a.k.a. The Great Brake Ordeal of 2008

I don’t understand cars.

Cars are like boyfriends. You really want one, and then you get one. And boom—more freaking trouble than they are worth. Or at least I think so. I haven’t had a boyfriend in a long time. I remember it being like that though.

Two months ago, my drivers side car window just stopped being able to roll up. I had to get it fixed, and in the process, I got my front brakes fixed. The mechanic called, and said in one month I would need to get my back brakes fixed, “Okay I said in one month I will get those back brakes fixed.” The window and brakes cost me $350 or something.

I then began driving the car around, and when I would brake, horrible shaking would occur. As though the car was seizing, and in her despair, she was crying out, “Argh my back, my back.”

Today, I go with my co-worker who swears by this place down the street from my office to get new brakes. While getting new brakes I am talking about the horrible shaking. I was informed by a new mechanic, that the front brakes need a new “router” and that I am going to need new, New, NEW! brake pads on the front.

Then he gives me a metaphor, “If I am dirty, and I go home and put on new clothes—I am still dirty and now my clothes are dirty too.” What? Dude, I don’t care about your cleaning habits. What does that have to do with my brakes?

Why do brakes look like they are just huge pieces of metal? Oh and by the way, the router looks like a record player.

I wish I had a record player. Does anyone know where I could get one?

In my mind, my solution to any and all car troubles is getting a boyfriend or husband. Someone who can take care of these lame problems, and even maybe fix them if he feels inclined. Of course, when I had a boyfriend—I still had car and boyfriend troubles. Unfortunately, not all men are gifted with the ability to fix something.

On the other hand, some guys gifts are to play a video game where they rescue a digital damsel in distress, but not a real life girl who desperately needs someone to FIX HER BRAKES!

Maybe the answer is not a boyfriend, but a bike.

P.S. Spring and I saw a great band, The New Frontiers this weekend. Check them out on myspace. They are awesome.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Augustana - Boston (Album version)

My roommate Ellie cleverly has been singing the song “Boston” by Augustana, and she changes the lyrics to “I think I’ll go to Austin.” I don’t think that she realized when she started singing it that way that I had actually in my mind already been singing it that way.

So, “I think I’ll go to Austin, I think I’ll start a new life.”

I am moving to Austin. I start my new job on May 5.

I hope to blog. I hope that someone will read what I blog. Mostly though I hope to have something to blog about.

Here is to hoping I get a life.