Monday, April 21, 2008

Sarah vs. the car a.k.a. The Great Brake Ordeal of 2008

I don’t understand cars.

Cars are like boyfriends. You really want one, and then you get one. And boom—more freaking trouble than they are worth. Or at least I think so. I haven’t had a boyfriend in a long time. I remember it being like that though.

Two months ago, my drivers side car window just stopped being able to roll up. I had to get it fixed, and in the process, I got my front brakes fixed. The mechanic called, and said in one month I would need to get my back brakes fixed, “Okay I said in one month I will get those back brakes fixed.” The window and brakes cost me $350 or something.

I then began driving the car around, and when I would brake, horrible shaking would occur. As though the car was seizing, and in her despair, she was crying out, “Argh my back, my back.”

Today, I go with my co-worker who swears by this place down the street from my office to get new brakes. While getting new brakes I am talking about the horrible shaking. I was informed by a new mechanic, that the front brakes need a new “router” and that I am going to need new, New, NEW! brake pads on the front.

Then he gives me a metaphor, “If I am dirty, and I go home and put on new clothes—I am still dirty and now my clothes are dirty too.” What? Dude, I don’t care about your cleaning habits. What does that have to do with my brakes?

Why do brakes look like they are just huge pieces of metal? Oh and by the way, the router looks like a record player.

I wish I had a record player. Does anyone know where I could get one?

In my mind, my solution to any and all car troubles is getting a boyfriend or husband. Someone who can take care of these lame problems, and even maybe fix them if he feels inclined. Of course, when I had a boyfriend—I still had car and boyfriend troubles. Unfortunately, not all men are gifted with the ability to fix something.

On the other hand, some guys gifts are to play a video game where they rescue a digital damsel in distress, but not a real life girl who desperately needs someone to FIX HER BRAKES!

Maybe the answer is not a boyfriend, but a bike.

P.S. Spring and I saw a great band, The New Frontiers this weekend. Check them out on myspace. They are awesome.


Kathleen said...

I, too, am having car troubles. Mine is a 1999 and today the ignition broke. I am now without it for a few days while they order a part which I will have to pay $500 for, about a third of what the car is worth.

Anonymous said...

check craigslist:

I will be so jealous if you get a record player.

Katy said...


I have a record player. My parents bought it for me online at a Web site that sells vintage look record players. It is neat. The brand is called Crosley. I think you should get one and then forget about your troubles as you listen to old music on vinyl. That's what I do when I feel like that.

I don't suggest getting a new car. I do suggest getting a second opinion and a second price on your repairs. You can borrow Brandon if you need a man to help you with haggling the mechanic and making sure said mechanic doesn't screw you up the arse.


Katy said...

P.S. I hate cars. Remember the time I got scolded by the tow truck driver who said I didn't know what the hell I was talking about when I told him to take my car to the oil change place because they have a full-time mechanic? Well, I'm still mad about it and kind of generally mad that mechanics think that just because we are women we are so stupid we will buy anything.

Sheena said...

Sister. First of all I would love LOVE LOVE you to get a record player, b/c I would get to use it. Second of all I hate cars. Bikes. Yes! Third of all boyfriends. Like cars they come with problems. I choose not to worry about problems until they come. or a boyfriend comes. bah. i lied. i do worry about things before they happen. maybe that's why i don't have a boyfriend.

Lel said...

Oh my sweet fancy moses: your first paragraph is my whole life. And that's why you must, must, must post things with this present regularity.

girlfromthenorthcountry said...

I'm going to be an ass and tell you -- they're called rotors, not routers.

There. I said it. I'm thrilled to find that you're blogging again -- I didn't know it until just today, and I'm happy to have a lot to catch up on.