I don’t understand cars.
Cars are like boyfriends. You really want one, and then you get one. And boom—more freaking trouble than they are worth. Or at least I think so. I haven’t had a boyfriend in a long time. I remember it being like that though.
Two months ago, my drivers side car window just stopped being able to roll up. I had to get it fixed, and in the process, I got my front brakes fixed. The mechanic called, and said in one month I would need to get my back brakes fixed, “Okay I said in one month I will get those back brakes fixed.” The window and brakes cost me $350 or something.
I then began driving the car around, and when I would brake, horrible shaking would occur. As though the car was seizing, and in her despair, she was crying out, “Argh my back, my back.”
Today, I go with my co-worker who swears by this place down the street from my office to get new brakes. While getting new brakes I am talking about the horrible shaking. I was informed by a new mechanic, that the front brakes need a new “router” and that I am going to need new, New, NEW! brake pads on the front.
Then he gives me a metaphor, “If I am dirty, and I go home and put on new clothes—I am still dirty and now my clothes are dirty too.” What? Dude, I don’t care about your cleaning habits. What does that have to do with my brakes?
Why do brakes look like they are just huge pieces of metal? Oh and by the way, the router looks like a record player.
I wish I had a record player. Does anyone know where I could get one?
In my mind, my solution to any and all car troubles is getting a boyfriend or husband. Someone who can take care of these lame problems, and even maybe fix them if he feels inclined. Of course, when I had a boyfriend—I still had car and boyfriend troubles. Unfortunately, not all men are gifted with the ability to fix something.
On the other hand, some guys gifts are to play a video game where they rescue a digital damsel in distress, but not a real life girl who desperately needs someone to FIX HER BRAKES!
Maybe the answer is not a boyfriend, but a bike.
P.S. Spring and I saw a great band, The New Frontiers this weekend. Check them out on myspace. They are awesome.