Thursday, June 19, 2008

On Tall People and Girls with Douche Boyfriends at the Death Cab for Cutie Concert

There is a song by Randy Newman and the lyrics state, “Short People got no reason to live,” but after attending the Death Cab for Cutie concert at the Nokia Theater in Grand Prairie, Texas—I whole-heartedly disagree. Tall people have no right to live.

Spring and I bought “pit tickets” to this concert because truly the only way to really experience a great show is to be as close to the stage as can be. However, in this circumstance, the fans of Death Cab for Cutie are unusually tall high school boys. I wish I had yelled at these children, “HEY, don’t you have a basketball game that you should be at?” Maybe, these poor boys, even though unusually tall and lanky, have been unable to find the place where tall people belong which is basketball and modeling. Being so tired of the question, “Do you play basketball?,” these questions drove them into the arms of the melancholy lyrics of Death Cab for Cutie. Perhaps their only real niche in life is Death Cab. I do not know.

However, typical of high school boys, they have no thought for anyone other than themselves. So, as regular height people are standing there, these tall freaking freaks of natures are blocking my view of the stage. The tallest three high school boys in perhaps all of Texas find each other, and stand in the middle of the crowd. The concert was like a very large mattress and they kept rolling into the middle.

Therefore, Spring and I had to move to very outskirts of the crowd on the side. But, this turned out to be the best view of all. I could fully see the stage, and there was actually a pleasant breeze blowing.

I also want to talk about lame girls with douche bag boyfriends. Have you ever noticed that boyfriend that comes with his girlfriend to show even though he is obviously not a fan of the band? He insists on standing right behind the girl with his arms around her waist, like she is leaning against some fleshly wall with arms. To all girls out there who like the same kind of music as me, but have these muscle headed, dumb witted, lame ass boyfriends—do not bring them to shows anymore. Also, break up with them. Please. If your boyfriend does not like a band, but he insists on going to a concert with you so that he can act like your own personal inner-tube he is a douche bag.

To answer your question, “For the most part I enjoyed the show, and yes I do find Benjamin Gibbard attractive.”


Katy said...

For the rest of my life, I will attend concerts with a tall man. Brandon is just tall. We apologize to all the short people. At least he is not one of those douchebag guys with no taste in music.

Isn't Chad tall? He's like 6'2" right?

Katy said...

We also love Dave Ramsey. Well, I love listening to him. Brandon likes his ideas, but hates listening to the show. He thinks it's depressing. Oh, well. Way to go on the financial plan!

Lel said...

Once I stood behind a really tall guy at concert. I was annoyed. Until it started to rain. Then I was in love, because his gigantic tallness was absorbing all the rain otherwise meant for my pretty little head.

(and thanks, by the way)

dimple said...

Sarah you are so right on about this! I love how you refer to them as personal inner tubes.