On Sunday, I went to an Episcopal church near the University of Texas called St. David’s Episcopal Church. This was the second Sunday in a row that I attended this church. The first service I went to was at 11:15 a.m., and then on Sunday I went to a 5:00 p.m. Celtic Communion Service.
Even though I am the one who has picked myself up and settled back down in Austin, Texas—I have realized something recently about myself and that is that I don’t like to be new. I like meeting people, I do not mind striking up conversations, but if I am the only new person in a room well then I become very shy. I also do this around older, attractive men, but that does not happen as often.
I was thinking about this in church on Sunday, and I came to the conclusion that this is the reason I hate to go to airports when I am traveling alone. I hate feeling like no one there knows me. Not that I believe that I am some great pleasure to know or anything. I just like to feel like I belong somewhere.
Of course, being new is only a small part of getting a new job or going to a new church, but it is the part that keeps me away.
However, after the service, the priest spoke to me, and then a nice woman asked me for coffee in the church bookshop/coffee shop. At one point, she was introducing me to another member of the church, and said, “I am trying to get St. David’s hooks in you,” and I said, “Oh, well you are doing a great job.”
Which she did, and next Sunday you will probably see me at the 5:00 p.m. Celtic Communion Service—trying to pretend like I belong.