Tuesday, July 22, 2008

On Going to Church and Being New

On Sunday, I went to an Episcopal church near the University of Texas called St. David’s Episcopal Church. This was the second Sunday in a row that I attended this church. The first service I went to was at 11:15 a.m., and then on Sunday I went to a 5:00 p.m. Celtic Communion Service.

Even though I am the one who has picked myself up and settled back down in Austin, Texas—I have realized something recently about myself and that is that I don’t like to be new. I like meeting people, I do not mind striking up conversations, but if I am the only new person in a room well then I become very shy. I also do this around older, attractive men, but that does not happen as often.

I was thinking about this in church on Sunday, and I came to the conclusion that this is the reason I hate to go to airports when I am traveling alone. I hate feeling like no one there knows me. Not that I believe that I am some great pleasure to know or anything. I just like to feel like I belong somewhere.

Of course, being new is only a small part of getting a new job or going to a new church, but it is the part that keeps me away.

However, after the service, the priest spoke to me, and then a nice woman asked me for coffee in the church bookshop/coffee shop. At one point, she was introducing me to another member of the church, and said, “I am trying to get St. David’s hooks in you,” and I said, “Oh, well you are doing a great job.”

Which she did, and next Sunday you will probably see me at the 5:00 p.m. Celtic Communion Service—trying to pretend like I belong.

1 comment:

onedaylate said...

I love being alone in airports and walking on city streets all alone. It makes me feel a little less alone, actually, to be sort of an anonymous, mysterious person among anonymous, mysterious people. Like we're all rustling newspapers and checking our watches together.

But there's nothing in the whole wide world worse than being the only stranger in a group of people who know one another but not you. I salute you, Sarahmac.